


but this is new to me (this is new to you)

by fennbluu



Category: Idolverse - Fandom
Genre: M/M, god i love these suckers, he's a tired man, poor saranyu he just wanted to dance, to quote kyle, welcome to hell! welcome to hell!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 13:26:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12013704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fennbluu/pseuds/fennbluu
Summary: if you exclude his absolutely atrocious cologne collection, lee yohan is a pretty good guy.(in which saranyu is falling in love and he really, really doesn't know how to handle it.)





	1. let's focus on communicatin' 'cause

“you used to be eatin’ expensive shit?” saranyu asks, his eyebrows up and lips a little parted in that curious way of his.

yohan nods. “yeah, when i was a kid, thas’ all we used to eat. whatever the nanny made or some fancy ass restaurant way deep into the city.

“well, you ate good,” saranyu hums, “and that’s good, right? no wonder you’re so tall, pro’lly skyrocketed from all the hormones that shit gave you, like eita.”

“no, no, that kid probably drank, like, a gallon of milk a day,” yohan jokes, and saranyu giggles.

“slipped the milkman a twenty,” he says, smile wide, “gotta find your resources.”

yohan throws his head back, laughing. “my god, i can totally see him doing that. like, ‘yo man, keep it on the dl, but, uh, you bring the good shit?’”

“the good—” saranyu can barely contain his laughter, bending over in the chair and hiding his mouth behind his hand as his body shakes from how hard he’s laughing.

yohan grins. god, it was nice to see saranyu be able to smile and laugh so openly like this, without biting down on his lip to suppress a smile or turning away from a funny conversation.


	2. initially, i didn't wanna fall for you

"this is fuckin' shit," saranyu hisses, suddenly, as he shoves the sheet of paper out of his sight, chair scraping against the floor when he stands up.

yohan looks up abruptly, even though this isn't the first time saranyu's done this and he really shouldn't be surprised right now, just like saranyu shouldn't be startled at his vision already growing blurry.

he doesn't know why it's today, why it's now, why it's quiet and no one's even said a word but everything just keeps piling up and now he's gone and done it and he knows he's not going to be able to stop. 

"hey," yohan says gently, and that isn't what saranyu wants to hear. he wants yohan to chastise him, look at him scornfully and tell him to shut up, even if he's joking. he wants someone to yell at him, someone to fucking scream at him until he breaks down, so he can have something to put the blame on. he wants to cry and not feel bad about it, he wants to feel an emotion without being guilty.

no, yohan just looks at him, with pity.

he's an attention whore. he knows it. everyone knows it, he's so fucking transparent, and he still doesn't know why he keeps on looking for someone to blame it on when he knows no one's there.  
so saranyu shakes his head, backing himself into the wall of the studio. tells yohan to shut the fuck up. tells him he doesn't want to listen to any of his shit, even as the words are choking his throat and yohan gets up out of his seat.

saranyu can't see clearly but he still hears it, still feels it when yohan sits down next to him in the corner of the room. feels it when yohan brings saranyu's trembling body to his chest. feels it when he wipes his tears away and holds his hand like he knows he's not going to let go. 

yohan still smiles in the morning, and saranyu doesn't know how he does it.


	3. i don't need nothing else but you

“ideal types?”

yohan went cold.

“someone who likes to play games!” auden yells out suddenly, sitting up in his seat and his hand thrown skyward. “an-and goin’ out and watching movies with me, i want someone like that!”

“yeah!” haneul chimes in, even more enthusiastic. “and they like to watch anime too, and hug and do cute things!”

“s-someone who likes to share clothes,” eita stutters out, eyes wide and flushed a little in the cheeks, “‘cause mine would probably look really big on them and that’s cute, too.”

 

“i don’t know,” saranyu mumbles, and yohan knows he’s avoiding his gaze. “i never really thought about it, before.”

“c’mon, hyung,” auden urges, poking him in the thigh as the mc laughs like they’re required to do. “surely, someone’s done something that makes your heart flutter?”

 

“someone who’s warm.”

it’s such a sudden sentence and not at all what yohan was expecting to hear, saranyu’s eyes trained on something in the distance and yohan can see the blush at the back of his neck. 

“Someone who’s warm, and never fails to make me laugh,” saranyu continues, and the way he says it is so clear that yohan knows he’s thought about it before. “Who’s willing to help me on off days and knows when to console me


	4. i don't wanna fall in love off of subtweets so

“you like that nickname auden gives you?”

“fu-fuck off, yohan,” saranyu muttered, shoving his arm. ooh, defensive, blushing, and a stutter? yohan hit the goddamn jackpot.

“hey, i like it. it’s cute.” saranyu just made a small whining noise at this, 

“i li-like having a nickname like that, with him. i-it’s his thing, to call me saranghae or wh-whatever, i don’t know. he’s a good kid, he’s not that much younger than me, b-but i like being around him, i don’t know, he just kind of reminds me of kimhan and he feels a little bit like home i don’t know.”

“he’s really cute?” saranyu’s voice was unsure, shoulders hunched. “he teases me and shit and i’m like okay, man, you better back the fuck up ‘fore you get smacked the fuck up, but it’s, like, fine, because he kinda smiles at me all stupid and i feel all nice about it? y’know?

“and i feel like a lot of people don’t like, care about him as much and that’s not okay with me. he’s not the cute maknae or the funny hyung or the flower boy or whatever kinda fuckin’ labels they like stickin’ on us nowadays so people always be overlookin’ him, and his talents. auden got one of the best voices i’ve ever heard in my entire goddamn life, yohannie, better than any of those fuckers back when we were trainees.

“dude, he facetimes his sister every day. i’m honestly wonderin’ how either of ‘em get the time for it but it’s the cutest fuckin’ thing. his insta is audino,


	5. let's get personal

saranyu twitched.

“is-” he swallowed, “is that my jacket?”

“yeah!” yohan replies with a grin, clearly oblivious to the absolute rage radiating off of saranyu. “issa cute jacket, gotta tell me where you buy these things, sarannie. looks good as fuck on me, huh?”

 

“you’re double my size and-and that’s not your style b-because you don’t know jackshit about style, and it doesn’t fit you right an-and that’s my jacket, who said you could take my jacket—”


	6. i got a lot of cool spots that we can go

hooded eyes and the sunrise.

yohan's rose-tinted view on reality affects him sometimes, in the way good music affects your mood. you listen to sweet sounds about nothing and everything at all and you fall, fall, fall into what they say and who they _are_ —

—but when the song's over, you wake up. life's just as shitty as it used to be.

saranyu hates himself a little more every day.

_BREAK_

 

off days are blessings for haneul.

he finally gets to catch up on his anime that's not hurried glances between breaks or staying up till 3 am, he gets to bake to his heart's content—and everyone's so much more  _calm_ than during the weekdays.

jaewoo's watching some funny vine compilation, face stuck in his little half-smirk, with saranyu tucked under one arm all huddled up next to him. eita's laying upside down on the couch and haneul's sitting on the floor, the two set off aggressively d

 

 

no one expects it when saranyu shoves eita straight into the wall.

the slam is followed by eita’s painful little cry and a loud “whoa, whoa whoa!” from jaewoo, haneul lurching forward to grab at saranyu.

“say that one more time,” saranyu spits, eyes blazing. “say that one more fucking time, brat, i dare you.”

“h-hyung,” eita whines, desperate, hands clawing at the wall behind him. “i swear i didn’t mean it, i really didn’t—”

“bullshit!” saranyu screams, and haneul’s actually terrified. he grabs at saranyu’s shoulders but the younger forcefully shakes him off. “you knew! you knew and you still f-fucking kept talking as if-as if it wouldn’t affect me at all—”

“saranyu, please.” but he’s not listening. “stop yelling at him, this isn’t gonna solve anything!”

“when are you ever gonna learn when to shut your fucking mouth and understand the consequences of your actions?” “i’m sick and tired of the rest of us babying you, even when y-you pull stupid shit like this

eita doesn’t say anything in return, just takes it all as the tears stream down his cheeks. haneul’s

 

haneul’s entire body is shaking when jaewoo finally manages to push saranyu out of the way

 

“hyung, i didn’t know,” eita pleads,

“at least you have parents, you fucking brat.


End file.
